Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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