Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
