College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
