Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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