I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
