Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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