Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
