I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
