He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
