I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
