did you get engaged???
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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