sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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