do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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