i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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