i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
