didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize