Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
