Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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