I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
