FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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