3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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