best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize