Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize