Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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