I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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