Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dear god my vagina.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
