Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
