she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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