I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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