im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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