Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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