Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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