Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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