There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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