we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
