who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
