He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
