dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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