Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
