I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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