tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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