Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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