Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
