One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Drunk is not a location!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
