the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Randomize
