He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize