his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
