the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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