it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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