don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
