I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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