I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
