All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
