So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
