Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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