The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
