Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
