You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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