The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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