Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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