I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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