started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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