I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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