Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize