pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Houston, we have a squirter
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize