his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
