i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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