I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
