So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
