Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
