i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
