textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i think im in europe. pls send help
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
