Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
