Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize