ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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